I just paid $35 for a 2 mile taxi ride to the laundromat. I feel like I’ve been taken to the cleaners.
Tone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Garbage Can, Not Garbage Cannot
JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE TRASH DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T DO GREAT THINGS.
IT IS CALLED GARBAGE CAN, NOT GARBAGE CANNOT.
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My Psalms Are Sweaty
My psalms are sweaty
knees weak, cross is heavylast supper is ready
it’s lord’s spaghetti -
Surely I don’t need an umbrella today
I asked my iPhone, “Surely I don’t need an umbrella today?”.
Siri replied “Yes, and don’t call me Shirley”.Apparently I had left Airplane mode on.
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I signed up for my company’s 401K…but I’m not sure that I can run that far.
I signed up for my company’s 401K…but I’m not sure that I can run that far.
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Why don’t boxers have sex the night before their match?
Why don’t boxers have sex the night before their match? Because they hate each other.
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A friend named his dog 5 miles
A friend of mine named his dog “5 miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles.
But today he ran over 5 miles.
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Doctors Orders Mean Burger King
My doctor just told me that I need to start eating at Burger King.
Well, he really said that I should not have McDonalds anymore, but I know what he means.
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Global Warming Icebreaker
If you are meeting a new group of people and don’t know what to talk about, try mentioning Global Warming.
It’s a huge Icebreaker.
