Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Ruthless

    A friend of mine just texted his girlfriend Ruth and told her that it’s over between them. I can’t believe that he did that over text.

    He’s Ruthless.

  • Grandma’s Photo Suggestion

    A man moves into a nudist colony.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    A few days later, he receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send a recent photo of himself in his new home.

    Embarrassed to let her know he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.

    The next day, he realizes he accidentally sent the bottom half.

    He panics, but then remembers how poor his grandmother’s eyesight is and hopes she won’t notice.

    A few weeks later, he receives a letter from her.

    It reads:

    My dearest grandson,

    It was so wonderful to receive your letter and picture. It made my whole week, and I’m so happy to see you’re settling into your new home.

    I do have one small suggestion, though. You should really change your hairstyle. It makes your nose look too short.

    Love always,
    Grandma

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • The Bald Man and the Forest

    There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting…

    He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair.”

    “What I want you to do…” the man continued. “Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.”

    So they did.

    Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

    And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail
  • Trumpets

    Trumpets

    John: *writes Revelations* Lord, the End is signaled by trumpets?

    God: No, Trump/Pence

    John: Right. Trumpets.

    God: Fine. They’ll know.

  • The Italian Chef Passed Away

    Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
    He pastaway.
    Cannoli do so much.
    Now hes just a pizza history.

  • Professional Hide-and-Seek Tournament

    I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.

  • Three Tons of Hair Stolen from Wig Factory

    Three tons of hair was stolen from a wig factory.

    Police are combing the area.

  • Books on Turtles

    [Walks into bookstore]

    Me: Do you have any books on turtles?

    Worker: Hard back?

    Me: Yeah, with little heads.

  • One for the Road

    A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.

    He says to the bartender, “Two beers please. One for me, and one for the road.”

  • No Words to Describe How Angry I Am

    I recently ordered a thesaurus online and when it arrived it was blank. I literally have no words to describe how angry I am.