Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Knitting While Speeding: A Hair-Raising Chase!

    A patrol car is sitting on the side of the highway when a car speeds past at an alarming rate.

    The patrol car takes off in pursuit, comes up beside the car, and looks across at the blonde driving. He notices she is knitting.

    The cop turns on his lights and siren, and the blonde continues to knit, oblivious to her surroundings.

    The cop winds down his window and uses a bullhorn to get the blonde’s attention, yelling, “Pull over!”

    The blonde looks across at the cop, takes a second to answer, and finally says, “No! It’s a scarf!”

  • She gave me a big hug

    I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
    She turned around and gave me a big hug.

  • Blowing things out of proportion

    My wife keeps blowing everything out of proportion.
    She is single-handedly ruining my balloon animal business.

  • He’s a web designer

    My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
    We had a few drinks. Turns out he’s a web designer.

  • She spit it out

    I gave my wife an orgasm yesterday…
    …but she spit it out.

  • A legend in his own thyme

    My great-uncle Herb was a renowned gardener.
    He was a legend in his own thyme.

  • Love Without Limits: A Unique Proposal!

    A woman puts an ad in the newspaper looking for a lover.

    She’s looking for a man who won’t hit her, won’t run away, and must be able to satisfy her in the bedroom.

    The next day, the doorbell rings. She opens the door to find a man with no arms or legs.

    The guy says, “I’m here to answer your ad looking for a lover.”

    She says, “How can you possibly qualify? You don’t have arms or legs.”

    He says, “Exactly. I have no arms, so I can’t hit you. And I have no legs, so I can’t run away.”

    The lady ponders for a few seconds and says, “Good points…but what about satisfying me in the bedroom?”

    And the guy says, “How do you think I rang the doorbell?”