Two hours of Internet porn and online sex left me screaming with orgasm after orgasm — until that bitch librarian told me to keep it down.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The one piece of advice I wish I’d paid attention to is that thing on the cleaner bag
The one piece of advice I wish I’d paid attention to is that thing on the cleaner bag that says you shouldn’t put it over your head. Man, was my face red that time! Or maybe blue — I’ve been having trouble with my memory since then.
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I’ll bet if clowns ever took over the world, C-SPAN would be a lot better cable channel.
I’ll bet if clowns ever took over the world, C-SPAN would be a lot better cable channel.
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I don’t know why some people don’t believe in sex before marriage.
I don’t know why some people don’t believe in sex before marriage. If you ask me, it’s a hell of a lot more believable than sex AFTER marriage!
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Proof of the astounding ability of human beings to deceive ourselves is our refusal to
Proof of the astounding ability of human beings to deceive ourselves is our refusal to think about what the chewed-up food in our mouth looks like right before we swallow it.
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One of the worst things about being in a fantasy football league is trying to explain to
One of the worst things about being in a fantasy football league is trying to explain to your wife why she overheard you call another guy a “fantasy stud.”
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If it’s so damned all-loving, why doesn’t the Light get off its lazy ass and come down
If it’s so damned all-loving, why doesn’t the Light get off its lazy ass and come down the tunnel to see *us*?!?
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably to get to the john in the Audi with $20 and a penchant for things like that.
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Don’t think of it as losing your virginity; think of it as gaining a free ride home on
Don’t think of it as losing your virginity; think of it as gaining a free ride home on the back of a motorcycle.
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Memo to self: Stop addressing little notes as “Memo to Self.”
Memo to self: Stop addressing little notes as “Memo to Self.” It’s not necessary and wastes time, as you’re in all likelihood able to recognize your own handwriting.
