Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”
The Top 12 Cartoon Character Pick-Up Lines
12. Wimpy — “I’d gladly pay you Tuesday for a hummer today.”
11. Foghorn Leghorn — “Ah say, boy, ah say, you’ve got it all wrong. Those little chickens you’ve been chasing around are roosters. What you want is a big ol’ hen, like me.”
10. Bart Simpson — “Eat my shorts, ma’am!”
9. Batman — “Wanna help to dispel those nasty rumors about me and the Boy Wonder?”
8. Speedy Gonzales — “Senorita, it’s just a nickname!”
7. Pepe LePew — “But, mon cherie — I don’t smell any worse than anyone else in France.”
6. Ross Perot — “I’m worth $4 billion.”
5. Porky Pig — “L-L-Let’s go back to my place and f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fu-f-f-fu… hump.”
4. Popeye — “I’m strong to the finish ’cause I takes Viagra!”
3. Pinocchio — “Hey, I *am* a woody!”
2. Underdog — “My heart is for you, my Polly, dear; You are pure and true, can I sniff your rear?”
1. Tweety Bird — “I wuuuv to eat putty!”
These two guys had just gotten divorced and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, “Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year.”
Q: What did one sperm cell say to the other sperm cell?
A: Last one there gets a rotten egg!
Nina and Liz are having a conversation during their lunch break.
Nina asks, “So, Liz, how’s your sex life these days?”
Liz replies, “Oh, you know. It’s the usual, Social Security kind.”
“Social Security?” Nina asked quizzically.
“Yeah, you get a little each month, but it’s not enough to live on.”
