I finally found out what I did to make my wife so angry with me: married her.
Topic: family
Family jokes, awkward relatives, domestic chaos, and bloodline-based nonsense from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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Our baby daughter always fights being laid into bed.
Our baby daughter always fights being laid into bed. Sure, it can be pretty annoying now, but I hope it takes at least 18 more years for her to outgrow it.
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I scream a lot during sex.
I scream a lot during sex. It really bothers my husband, though, because I scream things like, “I really hate this wallpaper!!”
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No one was quite the grill-master my father was.
No one was quite the grill-master my father was. People gave him the information he wanted every time.
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On the one hand, I’m sad my wife figured out how to turn her old electric toothbrush
On the one hand, I’m sad my wife figured out how to turn her old electric toothbrush into a vibrator. On the other, I really like hew new minty fresh taste.
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Boy, does my wife hate it when I order the 2-piece white-meat KFC lunch combo and call
Boy, does my wife hate it when I order the 2-piece white-meat KFC lunch combo and call it “breast feeding.”
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My wife ripped me a new one after she found out I peed in the shower.
My wife ripped me a new one after she found out I peed in the shower. Now I’ve got to get out of the house before she sees what I did in the bathtub.
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My husband says he won’t buy me the crossbow I asked for for Christmas.
My husband says he won’t buy me the crossbow I asked for for Christmas. He says I might accidentally shoot him. I suppose there’s a fine line between “accident” and “on purpose.”
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I got my passport photos done in a rush, coming in from the pouring rain just as the
I got my passport photos done in a rush, coming in from the pouring rain just as the store was about to close. Later when I saw the terrible photos, I asked my husband, “Why didn’t you tell me my hair was sticking up all over and I looked this bad?” He said, “I just figured you wanted to look like you do when we’re traveling.”
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Women are so fickle.
Women are so fickle. My wife she told me that we should live every day like it’s our last, then she complains about how I spend every day smoking crack and banging her sister.
