Her
Milk Shake
Brings All
The Boys
To The Yard
Topic: food
Food jokes, snack memes, kitchen crimes, restaurant disasters, and edible nonsense for people who laugh first and check expiration dates later.
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My Kids Asked for a Dance Party in the Vegetable Garden
My kids asked if they could have a dance party in the neighbor’s vegetable garden. I’m like, “Uh, why?”
“Because they lettuce turnip the beets.”
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You Coming to the BBQ?
Me: you coming to the bbq?
Her: what bbq?
Me: the one where I slap my meat across your grill -
A First Date With a Vegetarian Girl
I’m going on a first date with a vegetarian girl I met online.
I’ve never met herbivore.
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Blonde Fired From the M&M Factory
Hear about the blonde who got fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away all the Ws.
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A Nice Summer Body for People to Look At
I wanted to have a nice summer body for people to look at, but I realized I like food more than I like people.
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Afternoon Tea With Cannibals
Two cannibal friends are sitting together over afternoon tea.
One looks across the table and asks, “Hey, I heard you and your boyfriend had a massive argument last night?”
“Oh, absolutely,” she replies. “It was dreadful.”
“So, where do things stand between you two now?”
She pauses, takes a delicate sip from her teacup, and says, “Well… right now, I’m just letting him stew.”
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Count Chocula, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and the Teddy Grahams bear all perish in a fire
Breaking News!
Count Chocula, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and the Teddy Grahams bear all perish in a fire.
S’more at 11.
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My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.
I call it lunch.
