I’m going to take up knitting as a hobby, and my first project will be a nice warm pair of crotchless panties. I know what you’re thinking: “That’s very sensible, to start off on something simple and easy, instead of going straight for the big fuzzy sweater.”
Topic: humor
Humor jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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In hindsight, I suppose I should have instead told my wife that I had a great time this
In hindsight, I suppose I should have instead told my wife that I had a great time this afternoon with a “foursome which lost a member before teeing off the first hole.” Then maybe I’d have TWO working testicles.
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I just called the front desk requesting turn down service, and she said no.
I just called the front desk requesting turn down service, and she said no.
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I think the lottery would be more exciting if they drew TWO different sets of numbers:
I think the lottery would be more exciting if they drew TWO different sets of numbers: first set, to see who wins the money; second set, to see who gets executed. With my luck, I’d have both tickets.
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I believe you can learn a lot from spending time around small children — assuming you
I believe you can learn a lot from spending time around small children — assuming you don’t already know what a cow says or what the damn wheels on the damn bus do.
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There I was, dancing to a Latin beat with none other than Eric Estrada.
There I was, dancing to a Latin beat with none other than Eric Estrada. That’s the last time I order CHiPs and salsa from THAT place.
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I could tell we were in for a long night at work when our supervisor raised a megaphone
I could tell we were in for a long night at work when our supervisor raised a megaphone to his lips and yelled, “Gentlemen, start your catheters!”
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I ride to my job with several co-workers.
I ride to my job with several co-workers. Problem is, I always start screaming when the car passes through the excavation that allows the road to pass through the mountain. My psychiatrist says it’s the worst case of Carpool Tunnel Syndrome he’s ever seen.
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I was in such a hurry when I left the beach that I didn’t bother changing before racing
I was in such a hurry when I left the beach that I didn’t bother changing before racing home. Wouldn’t you know it: I got pulled over and given a Speedo ticket.
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Have you ever fallen for a girl so hard that whenever you’re around her, you get gassy?
Have you ever fallen for a girl so hard that whenever you’re around her, you get gassy? Well, I’m completely inflatuated!
