Topic: humor

Humor jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

I was bitten by a radioactive grandmother and turned into Doily-Man.

I was bitten by a radioactive grandmother and turned into Doily-Man. My costume is disgustingly see-through and my superpower seems to be mega-hyper sexual abstinence.
They say you should never raise your hand to your children, but how else am I supposed

They say you should never raise your hand to your children, but how else am I supposed to request permission to speak?
I really enjoy sex on a train.

I really enjoy sex on a train. Maybe it’s the rocking motion or the roaring noise the train makes. Or maybe it’s the reaction on the face of the person in the next seat.
I used to work at a place where people got all pissy when I told dirty jokes.

I used to work at a place where people got all pissy when I told dirty jokes. Screw them *and* their vow of silence.
I finally found out what I did to make my wife so angry with me: married her.

I finally found out what I did to make my wife so angry with me: married her.
I call it “life-saving Heimlich maneuver,” but some unappreciative women call it

I call it “life-saving Heimlich maneuver,” but some unappreciative women call it “groping.” And guess who got the insensitive judge that makes narrow interpretations of the law? Again!
I hate it when I pay for legal advice that ends up getting me in *more* trouble than I

I hate it when I pay for legal advice that ends up getting me in *more* trouble than I was in originally. It almost makes me want to give back the free corndog.
If you ask me, packing your top five favorite albums for any trip is just begging for

If you ask me, packing your top five favorite albums for any trip is just begging for trouble.
There’s nothing quite as rewarding as entering a room and seeing your child’s face light

There’s nothing quite as rewarding as entering a room and seeing your child’s face light up — because it confirms that you finally got the wiring and the LED bulb grafts right this time.
My friends say I’m a good catch, but I guess I need to find guys with more sophisticated

My friends say I’m a good catch, but I guess I need to find guys with more sophisticated senses of humor. My dates never seem to get it when I leave the seat up in the bathroom. C’mon, everyone knows the ol’ “Crying Game” gag.