Our baby daughter always fights being laid into bed. Sure, it can be pretty annoying now, but I hope it takes at least 18 more years for her to outgrow it.
Topic: humor
Humor jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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Be careful when you hyperbolically joke that you’ve got something “up the wazoo,”
Be careful when you hyperbolically joke that you’ve got something “up the wazoo,” because sometimes those TSA agents won’t stop until they’ve found it.
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My girlfriend gave me a musical condom that plays a piccolo minuet.
My girlfriend gave me a musical condom that plays a piccolo minuet. I think she’s trying to tell me something.
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I scream a lot during sex.
I scream a lot during sex. It really bothers my husband, though, because I scream things like, “I really hate this wallpaper!!”
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Inside me there is a thin, blonde, glamourous woman.
Inside me there is a thin, blonde, glamourous woman. But that’s just because I lost a bet at sorority party and had to eat a Barbie doll.
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International soccer needs some new marketing folks.
International soccer needs some new marketing folks. I’d have become a World Cup fan a decade or two earlier if I’d known about the drinking.
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Ask not what your country can do for you.
Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask who knew that we were the first country to elect a president fluent in Yoda-speak.
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My girlfriend and are into leaving notes for each other to find around the house.
My girlfriend and are into leaving notes for each other to find around the house. You know, the typical mushy stuff like “Honey, I love you!” “I can’t wait to see you tonight!” and “Flush the meth — the cops are outside the front door!”
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I don’t like to toot my own horn, but there was no avoiding it when the late-shift crew
I don’t like to toot my own horn, but there was no avoiding it when the late-shift crew at the Johannesburg Taco Bell shoved my vuvuzela up my drunk ass.
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Why don’t the voices in my head ever tell me to do something productive, like put knife
Why don’t the voices in my head ever tell me to do something productive, like put knife down, release the hostages, and get an MBA?
