Few things are as underappreciated as nose hair. Not only does it filter out germs and other things that cause respiratory ailments, but I’ve found that having an abundance of it has drastically reduced my chances of catching a sexually transmitted disease.
Topic: humor
Humor jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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Yes, global warming is real.
Yes, global warming is real. What they never mention, however, is that heat today is cooler.
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When my parents get too old to take care of themselves, screw the nursing home — I’m
When my parents get too old to take care of themselves, screw the nursing home — I’m going to plant 2 kilos of coke on them and call the DEA. That should get them 20 years of free care.
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Working at a top secret nuclear weapons lab has its perks.
Working at a top secret nuclear weapons lab has its perks. For starters, anytime I want someone dead, I merely have to tell them what I do for a living.
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In hindsight, when I handed the teller that note demanding $500, I probably should have
In hindsight, when I handed the teller that note demanding $500, I probably should have written my account number on the deposit slip.
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There are things you can control and things you can’t.
There are things you can control and things you can’t. For example, you CAN’T control how someone else decides to treat you, but you CAN control whether you’re wearing spike heels or steel-toed boots when you kick them in the face.
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With my luck, if I ever did catch lightning in a bottle, with my luck, the Guatemalan
With my luck, if I ever did catch lightning in a bottle, with my luck, the Guatemalan sweatshop where I mass produced it would forget to put “Not for children under 12” on the label and I’d have a massive recall on my hands.
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In some ways I’m pretty conservative.
In some ways I’m pretty conservative. For example, I don’t think abortion should be legal except in the very rare cases where the mother’s life is in danger or when I might possibly be the father.
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I was kinda hoping this whole “Hunger Games” thing involved some stomach-stapling
I was kinda hoping this whole “Hunger Games” thing involved some stomach-stapling candidates and a “first- one-to-explode-eats-free” contest at a Golden Corral.
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Rule #1 of Jedi Square Dancing: Do-si-do or do-si-do not.
Rule #1 of Jedi Square Dancing: Do-si-do or do-si-do not. There is no do-si-try.
