Topic: humor

Humor jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

His muscle pressed hard against his trousers like a burly midget trapped in a burlap

His muscle pressed hard against his trousers like a burly midget trapped in a burlap sack… Erotic fiction is not easy. /@b0nrmunky
I wish I’d penned a song titled, “I Write The Songs That Make the Whole World Want to

I wish I’d penned a song titled, “I Write The Songs That Make the Whole World Want to Stick Scissors in Their Ears and Come After the Singer With Torches and Pitchforks,” because I’m pretty sure that Wikipedia would make a page entry about that guy.
I’m walking through one of Japan’s first Costcos with a tear in my eye, taking a last

I’m walking through one of Japan’s first Costcos with a tear in my eye, taking a last glance at Japanese women’s fit, slender butts. /@b0nrmunky
Everyone talks about the world’s great injustices, but no one’s mentioning how I’ve been

Everyone talks about the world’s great injustices, but no one’s mentioning how I’ve been stuck on this level of Candy Crush for a week now. /@rmfnord
Like many parents of young daughters, I wrestled with how to address the subject of

Like many parents of young daughters, I wrestled with how to address the subject of Miley Cyrus’ risque performance. Should proactively admonish the singer’s actions as vulgar, or should I simply wait to see what she thought of the performance? Thankfully, she let me off the hook by throwing her sippy cup and indicating her pants needed changing.
Hey girl, these flowers are my way of saying, “There was a guy selling flowers at a

Hey girl, these flowers are my way of saying, “There was a guy selling flowers at a stoplight and I thought I could get laid for ten bucks.” /@rmfnord
I think the ugly chick behind me just farted.

I think the ugly chick behind me just farted. At least that’s what I told the hot chick in front of me.
Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve wanted to look like a rock star.

Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve wanted to look like a rock star. And the older I get, the more I look like the rock stars I grew up listening to.
I don’t think I’ll get that promotion after all.

I don’t think I’ll get that promotion after all. During my annual performance review, my boss spent most of the time beating me on the head with a yachting cap like the Skipper did Gilligan.
Question authority -– but use enhanced interrogation techniques only as a last resort.

Question authority -– but use enhanced interrogation techniques only as a last resort.