Did you know that when pigeons have sex they die?
Really?
Well the one I fucked did
Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.

Did you know that when pigeons have sex they die?
Really?
Well the one I fucked did

Family names used to be based on the family occupation
Guy whose last name is Dickinson:
Hmm

moderator: your word is ‘seaward’
spelling bee contestant: C-U-N…
moderator: please no jesus stop

Reporter: So Fred, you’re 97! What’s your secret?
Fred: I sucked a cock for a watch once.
Reporter: I meant secret of your longevity.
Fred: Oh! Fruits and vegetables.

I thought pineapple was supposed to make your cum taste better?? This tasted awful

Who you lasting longer with?
1 minute with Mike Tyson
OR
1 minute with Mia Khalifa?
I don’t think I’d even be able to get an erection with Tyson….but I’ll try.

I proposed to Sarah and she said yes!
OMG! congratulations! send me a picture of her Ring please!