Delivery Style: bait and switch

Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • The Early Return and the Generous Man

    A guy flies home a day early from a business trip. He takes a cab home, and then tells the cabby, “I think my wife is having an affair. I’ll give you an extra hundred bucks if you come in to be my witness.” The cabby agrees.

    They sneak in, go up to the bedroom, and pull the covers off the bed. Sure enough, the guy’s wife is in bed banging another man.

    The husband pulls out a gun and aims at the guy. Before he can shoot, the wife shouts, “Don’t do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the car I bought for you. He paid for our new boat. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!”

    As the husband stands there in shock, the cabby asks, “What are you gonna do?”

    And the husband says, “I’m gonna cover his ass with that blanket before he catches a cold.”

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  • The Two Kids in the Hospital

    Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other, outside the operating room.

    The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

    The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

    The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”

    The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

    The first kid says, “A circumcision.”

    The second kid says, “Whoa, good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born… Couldn’t walk for a year.”

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  • Pillsbury Funerals Cremation Services

    Pillsbury Funerals Cremation Services

    Nothing says lovin’ like something warm from the oven lol…. Woohoo

  • Little Johnny at the Rodeo

    Little Johnny went to his first rodeo with his mum and dad…

    Dad went off to buy a beer, and little Johnny happened to spy the bull’s cock flopping around beneath his belly.

    “Mummy, mummy! What’s that long thing beneath the bull’s belly!?” Johnny asks, pointing.

    Embarrassed, his mum looks away and mutters, “Oh, don’t worry about that, Johnny. That’s nothing.”

    Dad comes back and mum goes off to use the washroom.

    Once mummy is gone, Little Johnny asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing beneath the bull’s belly?”

    “That’s the bull’s cock, son,” his dad answers. “He uses it to mount and make love to a cow.”

    “But mummy said it was nothing!” Johnny replied.

    Dad leans back with his hand behind his head and takes a sip of his beer.

    “Son… I’ve spoiled that woman…”

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  • The Hearing Aids and the Will

    An elderly gentleman had suffered from serious hearing problems for years.

    He finally went to a doctor and was fitted with a set of excellent hearing aids.

    A month later, he returned for a checkup.

    The doctor smiled and said, “Your hearing is perfect! Your family must be thrilled that you can hear again.”

    The old man replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit there quietly and listen to their conversations.”

    He smiled and added, “I’ve changed my will three times already.”

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  • One Word or Spread Apart

    Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart?

  • The 12-Inch Pianist and the Million Bucks

    A guy walks into a bar carrying a briefcase and an old brass lamp.

    He sits down and sets both on the bar.

    The bartender pours him a drink and asks, “What’s in the briefcase?”

    The man opens it to reveal a tiny man sitting at a piano, playing beautifully.

    “Where on earth did you get that?” the bartender asks.

    The man points to the lamp. “A genie. He granted me a wish.”

    “No way,” says the bartender. “Can I try?”

    “Be my guest.”

    The bartender rubs the lamp, and out pops a genie.

    “What is your wish?” asks the genie.

    The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “I want a million bucks!”

    The genie claps his hands.

    Instantly, the bar is filled with a million ducks.

    Ducks are everywhere. On the tables, behind the bar, hanging from the light fixtures.

    The bartender stares in disbelief.

    “What’s wrong with this genie?” he shouts. “He must be hard of hearing!”

    The man takes a sip of his drink and says, “You think? Do you really believe I wished for a 12-inch pianist?”

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  • I Wish I Could Be You

    I met a genie who offered me one wish.

    I said, “I wish I could be you.”

    The genie replied,

    “Weurd wush… but U wull grant ut.”

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  • All of the Letters I Had Hidden

    My wife accused me of cheating after she found all of the letters I had hidden.

    Now she refuses to play Scrabble with me.

  • The Adult Toy Shop and the Checkered Thermos

    The owner of an adult toy shop was training his new employee on the rules, how things worked, and the price list of their products.

    “The only items without price tags are the dildos kept behind the cashier counter.

    The white ones are $10, and the black ones are $25.

    Everything else in the store already has the price marked on it.

    Now, I’m heading out for a bit to take care of something important. I’ll be back in about an hour or two.”

    Business went smoothly for an hour, until finally a customer asked about the items kept behind the counter.

    “How much are those toys?”

    “The white ones are $10, and the black ones are $25.”

    “Oh, those are nice! How much is that one with the checkered pattern?”

    Thinking quickly on his feet, the employee replied, “That one is $200.”

    “SOLD! I’ll take it!”

    An hour later, the owner returned and asked how business had been while he was gone.

    “It was booming, Boss! I managed to sell five of the white ones and ten of the black ones. And I also got $200 for that checkered thermos of yours you had sitting back there!”

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