Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • One Word or Spread Apart

    Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart?

  • Mrs Fire

    I really miss Robin Williams. He was a legend!

    Without a doubt my favorite movie of his was “Mrs Fire.”

  • He Was 0K

    A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C, and everyone said he was crazy.

    It turns out that he was 0K.

  • It’s Pronounced Anally

    My doctor told me I’m at an age where I need a colonoscopy annually.

    I’m a bit worried. He’s a doctor and should know it’s pronounced anally.

  • Too Many Probing Questions

    Why do aliens make such bad therapists?

    They ask too many probing questions.

  • Had to Pop the Trunk

    I won a balloon elephant at the fair and it wouldn’t fit in the back seat of the car. So I had to pop the trunk.

  • The End Was in Sight

    As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.

  • Only Have a Croc Pot

    I was going to cook alligator for dinner…

    But then I realized I only have a croc pot.

  • I Have Never Been a Mourning Person

    I have a friend who passed away recently and they are having the funeral at 7am. I’ve decided not to go… I have never been a mourning person.

  • The Lawsuit Against the Hospital

    A woman is suing a hospital, claiming that after recent treatment her husband completely lost interest in physical intimacy.

    In their defense, the hospital stated:

    “All we did was correct his eyesight.”

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