I won a balloon elephant at the fair and it wouldn’t fit in the back seat of the car. So I had to pop the trunk.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The End Was in Sight
As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.
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Only Have a Croc Pot
I was going to cook alligator for dinner…
But then I realized I only have a croc pot.
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I Have Never Been a Mourning Person
I have a friend who passed away recently and they are having the funeral at 7am. I’ve decided not to go… I have never been a mourning person.
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He Takes Things Personally
Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
He takes things personally!
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At a Pawn Shop
Where is the best place to sell a used chess set?
At a pawn shop.
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Every Week You Get New Matches
In other news, there’s a new dating app that caters to arsonists.
Every week you get new matches!
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You Carry the One
How do you get 100 math teachers into a room in which only 99 fit?
You carry the one.
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Rearrange the Letters of POSTMEN
If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN…
They become VERY ANGRY.
