Dogs are man’s best friend. You can tell this because all your other friends will stop having anything to do with you if you have their balls cut off.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The train conductor kept telling me to get off, but trust me,
The train conductor kept telling me to get off, but trust me, with all that rocking the train was doing I had already done so.
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Don’t get me wrong, I love playing “Santa and His Helper” with
Don’t get me wrong, I love playing “Santa and His Helper” with my wife, especially when she licks the candy cane and empties out Santa’s sack. I just wish she weren’t so insistent about hanging Santa’s balls from the tree.
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If I ever get cast for a reality show, I’m going to dub myself
If I ever get cast for a reality show, I’m going to dub myself “The Predicament,” because I bring that added element of suspenseful mischief. Plus, much like Snooki, it has a “dic” in it.
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“It’s all Greek to me” takes on a whole new meaning at an orgy
“It’s all Greek to me” takes on a whole new meaning at an orgy.
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I could’ve sworn my boss said he was going to give me a big
I could’ve sworn my boss said he was going to give me a big bonus for Christmas this year. And the BONER he gave me wasn’t even that big.
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Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster
Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster than a schmear of butt-mustard left behind by the cat.
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Okay, I get it: Every kiss begins with Kay. But what jewelry
Okay, I get it: Every kiss begins with Kay. But what jewelry store do I need if I just want a blow job?
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Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone!
Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone! Airports should add a pause button to those damn electronic toilets.
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They say you never forget the name of your first love. Mine was
They say you never forget the name of your first love. Mine was Asshole O’Douchebag.
