Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I am routinely disgusted upon seeing my wife’s issues of

I am routinely disgusted upon seeing my wife’s issues of “Fitness” and “Shape” magazines, with scantily attired women adorning the cover. I mean, they *always* find a way to put the damn mailing label on top of the cameltoe!
My boyfriend keeps saying he wants to fuck me silly. That’s

My boyfriend keeps saying he wants to fuck me silly. That’s ridiculous — I’m already silly.
I think all in-flight movies should be porn. That way the Mile

I think all in-flight movies should be porn. That way the Mile High Club assholes could get if over with faster so the rest of us could use the damn toilet.
I don’t understand the fuss about letting gays serve in the

I don’t understand the fuss about letting gays serve in the military, especially when you consider how much the army likes to keep its privates at attention.
There’s no “I” in “sperm.” And hopefully after that quick kick

There’s no “I” in “sperm.” And hopefully after that quick kick to the crotch, there will be no more sperm in “eye.”
There is perhaps no greater pleasure than to be the meat in the

There is perhaps no greater pleasure than to be the meat in the middle of a Jilly G. Filthy Rumination sandwich.
I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little

I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little humor into my act by yelling, “And now for my next trick…” and grabbing some guy by the wand.
I think God made a deal with cats and dogs. They got the ability

I think God made a deal with cats and dogs. They got the ability to lick their privates in exchange for having to lick their own butts clean.
What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of

What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of melted vibrators to prove it.
Dildos need a tagline, for marketing purposes. My suggestion:

Dildos need a tagline, for marketing purposes. My suggestion: “The gift that keeps on getting.”