Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to clean around the tied-up midget.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen
The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen one blue pussy, you’ve seen them all.
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I like using the iPhone to send pictures of myself totally nude
I like using the iPhone to send pictures of myself totally nude to my boyfriend, but the lighting in these Apple stores sucks.
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This DVD box says, “The Director’s Cut.” Why the fuck should *I*
This DVD box says, “The Director’s Cut.” Why the fuck should *I* care what his penis looks like?
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(Lori Petterson) Like sands through the hourglass, so are the
(Lori Petterson) Like sands through the hourglass, so are the constipation-packed pebble-turds trickling from my butt.
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Snap-On Tools should expand their line to include sex toys. They
Snap-On Tools should expand their line to include sex toys. They already have the name and all.
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Sure, a big penis might please the ladies a little more, but it
Sure, a big penis might please the ladies a little more, but it would mean a LOT more work for me when I’m by myself, and that happens WAY more often.
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The Nick Smith Theorem of Wanking: The amount of sex I’m getting
The Nick Smith Theorem of Wanking: The amount of sex I’m getting is inversely proportionate to how much my right arm hurts.
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I’m guessing the reason it’s called a “staff meeting” is because
I’m guessing the reason it’s called a “staff meeting” is because of that guy in accounting who always seems to be playing with himself while he shows us his presentations.
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Some woman in traffic yelled out her window at me, “You suck!”
Some woman in traffic yelled out her window at me, “You suck!” Well, duh. How do you think we careened off the guardrail and into oncoming traffic in the first place?
