When life gives you fellatio, thank it profusely! Of course, you ought to wait until you cum first, just in case life changes its mind and decides to give you blue balls instead.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Give a woman a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Tell her that she
Give a woman a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Tell her that she *smells* like fish and you’ll be wanking for months.
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Enough already about the Royal Wedding. Let’s move on to the
Enough already about the Royal Wedding. Let’s move on to the Royal Wooding!
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Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for
Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for nipples. I must concede, however, that they would STILL be breasts.
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I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to
I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to have such a cute, funny girlfriend.” Have they not noticed the tits?!
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A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to
A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to find as many pictures of genitalia in the illustrations as you can.
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I love eating chocolate chip cookie dough from the tube. My
I love eating chocolate chip cookie dough from the tube. My boyfriend loves licking it off my nipples. Win-win!
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My penis has a mind of its own. That’s usually not a big
My penis has a mind of its own. That’s usually not a big problem, but it can result in me getting some strange readings from fortune tellers.
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(Jilly G.) Hiccups are God’s way of saying, “You ain’t getting
(Jilly G.) Hiccups are God’s way of saying, “You ain’t getting head tonight.”
