They say you can conserve water by putting a brick in your toilet tank. I must be saving a ton of water because I drop one directly in the bowl every morning.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
When making an erotic cake, is there a recipe for cum icing, or
When making an erotic cake, is there a recipe for cum icing, or does the baker just play around with it until it cums out okay?
-
Don’t you hate it when you’re about to cum and the guy does
Don’t you hate it when you’re about to cum and the guy does something to ruin it? You know, like speaking.
-
My boyfriend won’t stop staring at me when I brush my teeth. I
My boyfriend won’t stop staring at me when I brush my teeth. I swear I’m never again buying a toothbrush that’s an exact replica of his hard cock.
-
Which came first: underwear or the skidmark
Which came first: underwear or the skidmark?
-
I have one religious tenet when it comes to sex: Ask and ye
I have one religious tenet when it comes to sex: Ask and ye shall receive. Except for anal.
-
Sometimes I think my man just looks at me as a sex toy. A hot,
Sometimes I think my man just looks at me as a sex toy. A hot, wet, squirmy, stand-upsex-in-the-shower, reverse cowgirl sex toy.
-
Some people say the difference between “like” and “love” is
Some people say the difference between “like” and “love” is “spit” and “swallow,” but that sounds more like the difference between “right” and “wrong” to me.
-
Life is like a box of popcorn: You really crave chocolate, but
Life is like a box of popcorn: You really crave chocolate, but instead get something hard and salty rammed down your throat.
