My ex called me “Snakegirl.” Turns out it was because I like snakeskin boots so much and had nothing to do with that cool blowjob trick I do where I unhinge my jaw.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I got even with my ex-wife for dumping me for a guy with a
I got even with my ex-wife for dumping me for a guy with a bigger penis; I dumped HER for a woman with a MASSIVE vagina!
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I think I’d enjoy anal sex more if I liked things being placed
I think I’d enjoy anal sex more if I liked things being placed in my ass.
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I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my
I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my Cap’n Crunch vibrator.
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I wonder why the sperm bank doesn’t have a drive-through teller.
I wonder why the sperm bank doesn’t have a drive-through teller. It seems like the logical next step since so many guys masturbate in their cars.
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I rubbed a magnet on my genitals once. My left nut became
I rubbed a magnet on my genitals once. My left nut became positive, my right nut negative, and my johnson pointed to true north.
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Urinal proverb: A watched penis never pisses
Urinal proverb: A watched penis never pisses.
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Absinthe makes the schlong grow harder
Absinthe makes the schlong grow harder.
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My sperm bank went out of business. My mistake was building it
My sperm bank went out of business. My mistake was building it so close to Jilly G.’s house — by the time the donors got to my office, they were pretty well emptied of fluids.
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I apologize if my uber-hotness has caused problems for any local
I apologize if my uber-hotness has caused problems for any local businesses. I guess the guys just really like my “first served, first cum” motto.
