Women sure are hard to figure out. My new girlfriend makes a big point of telling me she likes really rough sex, then she gets all pissed off about my sandpaper condom invention.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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There’s nothing sexier than a really smart guy. Unless we’re
There’s nothing sexier than a really smart guy. Unless we’re talking about sex, then a huge dick is really hot, too.
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(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik
(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik Wood” has nothing to do with erectile dysfunction? Live and learn.
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I kind of understand my long-distance girlfriend’s sudden
I kind of understand my long-distance girlfriend’s sudden decision to want to sleep with local guys when I’m not around. Her desire to sleep with them when I *am* around is more troubling.
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I should never have told that chick on Craigslist that I was
I should never have told that chick on Craigslist that I was into humiliation. Right after she had HER orgasm, she took me to a bus stop and gave me $2 for fare.
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A good kiss can bring me to my knees. Not literally — *that*
A good kiss can bring me to my knees. Not literally — *that* takes jewelry.
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Maybe I’m being too picky. A guy doesn’t have to have a 50-foot
Maybe I’m being too picky. A guy doesn’t have to have a 50-foot yacht or a big dick for me to be interested. I would also notice him if he has a really hot girlfriend.
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You’d think my girlfriend would be more open to anal sex,
You’d think my girlfriend would be more open to anal sex, considering she’s thoroughly enjoyed my kissing her ass all these years.
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I was fine trying a reverse cowgirl for my man, but I still
I was fine trying a reverse cowgirl for my man, but I still think it was overkill when he branded my ass.
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I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang
I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang lots of meat euphemisms, like “slipping her the sausage.”
