Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get

Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get more bang for buck.
When the Boy Toy told me he wanted to do it in a moving car, I

When the Boy Toy told me he wanted to do it in a moving car, I was happy to oblige. I just wish he has told me it was a convertible, so I could have worn a top that stays on in high winds. Oh, well, the truckers didn’t mind.
Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you

Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you.
Call me naive, but when a guy invited me to his place for “a

Call me naive, but when a guy invited me to his place for “a little scat,” I honestly thought there would be improvised jazz singing involved.
I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response

I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response when my boyfriend asked me what I stuck in his ass.
The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I

The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I get in, there’s a mystical voice that says, “Going down.”
My girlfriend has the most amazing tits ever. In fact, they

My girlfriend has the most amazing tits ever. In fact, they should be in the Titsonian.
They say it isn’t the size of the boat, but the motion of the

They say it isn’t the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean. While there’s some truth to that, you can’t make too many waves if you’re only piloting a dinghy.
Reflecting on my latest Bible study reading, I told the group I

Reflecting on my latest Bible study reading, I told the group I felt bad for Lot. Can you imagine the pain one suffers when fucking a pillar of salt?
So if you DON’T take any Viagra, then have 4-hour erection

So if you DON’T take any Viagra, then have 4-hour erection during a 4-hour threesome with two smoking hot women, are you still supposed to call a doctor? *I* did, but pretty much just to brag.