Nothing says “double standard” like pre-wedding celebrations: Penis Tiara? Okay! Vagina Hat? Not so much.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I fucked that guy down at the car wash twice today. I wanted to
I fucked that guy down at the car wash twice today. I wanted to be there for the second cumming of Jesus.
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It’s amazing what a single letter can do. A trumpet is an thing
It’s amazing what a single letter can do. A trumpet is an thing that you blow, but if you put a single “s” in front of it, it becomes something that blows you.
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If I had a nickel for every lava-lamp menorah I sold this
If I had a nickel for every lava-lamp menorah I sold this season, I wonder if that would be anywhere close to enough to pay to see Jilly G.’s tits?
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My wife finally got back at me for all those years of surprising
My wife finally got back at me for all those years of surprising her lingerie which was too small buy giving me a cock ring which was too big.
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If I had a nickel for every Rumination that mentioned my tits,
If I had a nickel for every Rumination that mentioned my tits, I’d stick them on my tits. I’ll bet they’d make *awesome* pasties.
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Word to the wise: When a longtime friend confesses his
Word to the wise: When a longtime friend confesses his scatological fetish to you, it is NOT appropriate to respond by saying, “I don’t give a shit.”
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Whenever I help my boyfriend get off by letting him watch me
Whenever I help my boyfriend get off by letting him watch me masturbate, after he thanks me I like to say, “Happy to lend a helping finger!”
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If you’re stranded at a cannibal commune and forced to eat a
If you’re stranded at a cannibal commune and forced to eat a penis butter and jelly sandwich, at least tell them you’d prefer they used creamy, not chunky.
