Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Kenya Believe It

    My wife left me because I have an unhealthy obsession with Africa.

    Kenya believe it?!

  • Number Than Numb

    English puns make me feel numb but math puns make me feel number.

  • Words Cannot Describe How Much This Bugs Me

    I keep forgetting the difference between etymology and entomology…

    …and words cannot describe how much this bugs me.

  • Great Man Terrible Lifeguard

    My dad used to tell me that you can’t save anyone; they have to save themselves.

    Great man. Terrible lifeguard.

  • Seeing Someone on the Side

    My buddy used to date a cross-eyed girl until he found out she was seeing someone on the side.

  • On the One Hand But On the Other

    I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

  • Nearly Met Jesus

    Hiking in your 70s is a great way to meet people.

    Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist… and nearly met Jesus!

  • It Tastes Like Ass

    If you’ve never tried donkey meat, don’t bother.

    It tastes like ass.

  • Not Remotely Funny

    I told a joke on a Zoom meeting and no one laughed.

    It turns out I’m not remotely funny.