My buddy used to date a cross-eyed girl until he found out she was seeing someone on the side.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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On the One Hand But On the Other
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.
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Nearly Met Jesus
Hiking in your 70s is a great way to meet people.
Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist… and nearly met Jesus!
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It Tastes Like Ass
If you’ve never tried donkey meat, don’t bother.
It tastes like ass.
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Not Remotely Funny
I told a joke on a Zoom meeting and no one laughed.
It turns out I’m not remotely funny.
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I Could See Myself Working There
They’re building a mirror factory in my town.
I could see myself working there.
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Taking Steps to Avoid Them
I’m scared of elevators…
So I’m taking steps to avoid them.
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The Results Are Staggering
Scientists have finished a study on how alcohol can affect a person’s ability to walk.
The results are staggering.
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Now She Wants to Break Three
My daughter broke two of my Freddie Mercury records.
Now she wants to break three.
