Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Every Week You Get New Matches

    In other news, there’s a new dating app that caters to arsonists.

    Every week you get new matches!

  • You Carry the One

    How do you get 100 math teachers into a room in which only 99 fit?

    You carry the one.

  • Rearrange the Letters of POSTMEN

    If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN…

    They become VERY ANGRY.

  • The Penfish Is Even Mightier

    The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from…

    …except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.

  • I’m Finally a Groan Man

    I just turned 40 and I groan every time I get up now.

    I’m finally a groan man.

  • At Least 8 Characters and One Capital

    During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

    MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyLondon

    When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

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  • It Folded

    After I invested all my spare cash into an origami business, it folded.

  • A Remarkable Guy

    My friend Mark changed his name to something else, but now he’s thinking about changing it back.

    Truly a remarkable guy.

  • So Full of Himself

    Did you hear about the arrogant cannibal who started eating his own arms and legs?

    He was so full of himself.

  • This Thing Changes Everything

    I got a new universal remote last week and let me tell you, this thing changes everything.