I used to date a girl who had a twin. People always asked me how I could tell them apart.
It was easy.
Jill painted her nails purple and Bob has a pecker.
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
They’re building a mirror factory in my town.
I could see myself working there.
I’m scared of elevators…
So I’m taking steps to avoid them.
Scientists have finished a study on how alcohol can affect a person’s ability to walk.
The results are staggering.
My daughter broke two of my Freddie Mercury records.
Now she wants to break three.
What’s black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A brunette who’s told too many blonde jokes.
What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
Brown-bagging it.
What’s the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
No one else wants it.
Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?
So brunettes can remember them.
What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
Invisible.
What’s a brunette’s mating call?
“Has the blonde left yet?”
Why didn’t Indians scalp brunettes?
The hair from a buffalo’s butt was more manageable.
Why is the brunette considered an evil color?
When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?
What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
The invitation.
What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A hostage.
Who makes bras for brunettes?
Fisher-Price.
Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
It matches their mustache.
Why don’t blondes like to breastfeed their children?
Because it hurts when they boil their nipples.
How does a blonde hold her liquor?
By the ears.
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthesia.
He said, “Sure, knock yourself out.”