One Liner Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

My gang name is The Toaster, cuz if you stab a fork in me, I

My gang name is The Toaster, cuz if you stab a fork in me, I will fuck you up. Also, I can lightly brown a bagel like a motherfucker.

I thought my goldfish would thank me for the pizza crusts but they just got all wobbly like they didn’t give a fuck.

“Come On Eileen” is probably my favorite 80’s pop song about bukake.

I can say “Go die in a fire, you piece of trash” but not “I fucking love these Froot Loops.”

When I take a shit on a Tuesday I call it doing a Number Tue. Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all weak.

TSA should create a position where the only responsibility is telling college kids who sleep on the floor by a gate that they’re fucking slobs.

(B0nrMunky) There should be a horse at the Kentucky Derby named, “Your Wife Looks Like A Stuck Up Cunt In That Hat.”

I can’t believe how spicy this peppered Italian salami is! I could only get it halfway up my ass before I gave up.

Is “gangbang” one word or two? I’m writing a letter to try and get out of jury duty and I don’t wanna sound stupid.

If you’re walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog has already won.