You saw 9/11 coming? I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren’t even in the room!
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
If a guy’s coffee order has more than 5 words in it, he should
If a guy’s coffee order has more than 5 words in it, he should have to tuck his penis and balls behind his butt for the rest of the day.
-
If you don’t eat your candy corn in three separate color
If you don’t eat your candy corn in three separate color coordinated bites, you’re a lazy bag of shit.
-
My wife did a bong hit right before performing analingus on me.
My wife did a bong hit right before performing analingus on me. She says she enjoyed the experience, but I think she was just blowing smoke up my ass.
-
Most people don’t know Santa Claus has a half brother, Ralph
Most people don’t know Santa Claus has a half brother, Ralph Claus, who brings heart-beating-through-yourasshole hangovers on December 26th.
-
“There’s a one letter difference between ‘heroes’ and ‘herpes,’
“There’s a one letter difference between ‘heroes’ and ‘herpes,’ so choose wisely, kids.” Why I’m not allowed to speak at schools anymore.
-
Swallow
What bird doesn’t have kids?
Swallow.
