Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Fatherly Bubble

    Nothing can burst your fatherly bubble faster than hearing your daughter come home from a date and saying, “Some nights I don’t know why I even bother to wear panties.”

  • Homecoming Queen

    Donald Trump’s presidential campaign is really nothing more than a high-stakes version of “Wouldn’t it be funny to elect the ugly girl homecoming queen?”

  • Keep People in the Dark

    My friends keep asking me how I’m able to save so much on my electric bill,

    but I’ll never tell because I like to keep people in the dark.

  • Knows the Drill

    I’ve been training my dog to fetch tools from my workbench.

    He isn’t perfect, but he knows the drill.

  • Barberqueue

    What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?

    A barberqueue.

  • Moo-spaper

    How do cows stay up to date?

    They read the moo-spaper.

  • Strongest Days

    Which days are the strongest?

    Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

  • Weekend Immune System

    I only seem to get sick on weekdays.

    I must have a weekend immune system.

  • Disgruntled Employee

    For the Halloween party at work this year, I went as a disgruntled employee.

    The costume was simple: all I had to do was wear my regular clothes and improve my attitude.

  • They Were Wright

    About a hundred years ago a couple brothers said they could fly.

    They were Wright.