Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Violins

    Did you know that the string section of an orchestra is the most dangerous?

    It’s because of all the violins.

  • Eaton / Dayton

    I was datin’ this girl from Eaton.

    Or maybe it was the other way around and she was from Dayton.

  • Loggins Attempts

    I just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing “Danger Zone” five times.

    Apparently, I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.

  • The Hyperbole

    While the Super Bowl has about seventy thousand attendees each year, the hyperbole has at least a bajillion.

  • Elephant Wisdom

    Why are elephants so wise?

    It comes with getting long in the tooth.

  • Van Gogh Coffee Table

    I just bought an original Van Gogh coffee table.

    I know it’s authentic because there’s a bit of veneer missing.

  • Feeling Drained

    After spending an hour unclogging the bathtub and sink…

    I’m feeling pretty drained.

  • ID Theft

    My friend David has just been a victim of ID theft.

    He’s now called Dav.

  • Calendar Company

    Why did the employee at the calendar company get fired?

    He took a day off.

  • Parsley Farm

    I just got hired at a parsley farm.

    It’s pretty easy work, but the downside is that they started garnishing my wages.