Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Van Gogh Coffee Table

    I just bought an original Van Gogh coffee table.

    I know it’s authentic because there’s a bit of veneer missing.

  • Feeling Drained

    After spending an hour unclogging the bathtub and sink…

    I’m feeling pretty drained.

  • ID Theft

    My friend David has just been a victim of ID theft.

    He’s now called Dav.

  • Calendar Company

    Why did the employee at the calendar company get fired?

    He took a day off.

  • Parsley Farm

    I just got hired at a parsley farm.

    It’s pretty easy work, but the downside is that they started garnishing my wages.

  • Invisible

    I thought I was invisible, so I went to the doctor…

    …unfortunately, he couldn’t see me.

  • eBay Is So Useless

    eBay is so useless.

    I tried looking up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.

  • The Speed Limit of Sex

    What is the speed limit of sex?

    68 — because at 69 you have to turn around.

  • Flappuccino

    What is the female equivalent of teabagging?

    A flappuccino.

  • Chinese Amputee

    What do you call a Chinese amputee?

    Tai Wan Shu.