Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • It’s really easy to quit

    I don’t know why people say, “It’s so hard to quit.” It’s really easy when it’s something you didn’t want to do in the first place.

  • The dog won

    If you’re casually walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog won.

  • Why Don’t Blind People Like to Skydive?

    Why don’t blind people like to skydive?

    Because it scares the dog.

  • Parking fine

    A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I’d positioned my car correctly…
    It said, “Parking fine.” So that was nice.

  • A Ford Oar two-door

    Ford should make a coupe and call it the Oar.
    It’d be a Ford Oar two-door.

  • He gave me a blank stair

    When I told my contractor that I didn’t want any carpeted steps, he just gave me a blank stair.

  • I turned a few heads

    I walked down the street dressed as a screwdriver.
    I turned a few heads.

  • An escasooner

    What’s faster than an escalator?

    An escasooner.

  • All of the seats were already taken

    Unfortunately, I showed up late to the kleptomaniacs’ conference.
    Needless to say, all of the seats were already taken.

  • All the digging

    What’s the worst thing about having sex in a cemetery?

    All the digging.