One Liner Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Stretching Sentences: A Lawyer’s Favorite Workout

A lawyer’s favorite exercise is stretching one sentence into six billable pages.

What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexic’s Association.

In Soviet Russia, a bar walks into you!

Jesus walks into a motel.

He puts three nails on the counter and says, “Can you put me up for the night?”

I accidentally swallowed a bottle of invisible ink.

Now I am in the ER waiting to be seen.

Diarrhea Awareness starts on Monday.

Runs through Friday.

I went to the gym the other day and my favorite machine was broken.

I couldn’t get any chocolate or Coke or anything.

My wife accused me of liking my relatives more than hers. I told her that was absolutely not true.

I thought her mother-in-law was much nicer than mine.

I just left the doctor’s office. He told me he wants me on clear liquids for the next 24 hours.

Between the rum, vodka, and gin, I shouldn’t run out.

I just rented a limo for $500, then learned that fee doesn’t even include a driver.

So I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it!