Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Einstein and His Driver

    One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.

    On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

    “I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!”

    The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don’t know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.”

    “That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!”

    So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.

    But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.

    The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says:

    “Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I’m going to let my driver reply to it for me.”

  • Seven Lemons for the Smirk

    A man walks into a church confessional and says to the priest, “Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I was with seven different women last night.”

    The priest is silent for a moment, then says, “Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp.”

    “And I’ll be forgiven?” asks the man.

    “No,” replies the priest, “but it will wipe that smirk off your face.”

  • The Blonde Learns How to Tell a Joke

    A blonde and a brunette are hanging out. “Can you teach me how to tell a joke?” asks the blonde.

    “People don’t seem to like my jokes,” she continued. “But everyone laughs at yours. How do you come up with such good jokes?”

    “Honestly, I’m not really naturally funny,” said the brunette. “I don’t think up my own jokes. I just take other people’s jokes and say the punchline louder.”

    “Oh…” The blonde thought long and hard for a moment. “Okay, I think I got it. Knock knock!”

    “Um… who’s there?”

    “Louder!”

  • The Jumbo Sausage

    I asked the hot dog seller, “Can I get a jumbo sausage?”

    He said, “Sure, won’t be long.”

    I said, “In that case, can I have two?”

  • No But I Have a Boyfriend

    I finally worked up the courage to ask my blind coworker if she was currently seeing anyone.

    She said, “No, but I have a boyfriend.”