Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask who knew that we were the first country to elect a president fluent in Yoda-speak.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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My girlfriend and are into leaving notes for each other to find around the house.
My girlfriend and are into leaving notes for each other to find around the house. You know, the typical mushy stuff like “Honey, I love you!” “I can’t wait to see you tonight!” and “Flush the meth — the cops are outside the front door!”
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I don’t like to toot my own horn, but there was no avoiding it when the late-shift crew
I don’t like to toot my own horn, but there was no avoiding it when the late-shift crew at the Johannesburg Taco Bell shoved my vuvuzela up my drunk ass.
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Why don’t the voices in my head ever tell me to do something productive, like put knife
Why don’t the voices in my head ever tell me to do something productive, like put knife down, release the hostages, and get an MBA?
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Of course there’s a reason to beat a dead horse.
Of course there’s a reason to beat a dead horse. It shows all the other horses that you mean business.
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After my accident, the doctors told me I shouldn’t be alive.
After my accident, the doctors told me I shouldn’t be alive. It wasn’t a medical opinion, though — they were expressing a deeply held personal belief.
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Men are not as shallow as we’re sometimes made out to be.
Men are not as shallow as we’re sometimes made out to be. If you give a man a choice between saving the universe and getting laid, he will inevitably choose saving the universe, after only a second or two of indecision.
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One of my co-workers told me this morning that she felt like shit.
One of my co-workers told me this morning that she felt like shit. Well at least now her feelings match her cologne.
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No one was quite the grill-master my father was.
No one was quite the grill-master my father was. People gave him the information he wanted every time.
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I think the most disappointing aspect of the whole Tiger Woods mess is that none of his
I think the most disappointing aspect of the whole Tiger Woods mess is that none of his mistresses had the surname “Mulligan.”
