I had a hen who could count her own eggs.
She was a mathmachicken.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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It Just Kept Ringing
I called the tinnitus hotline yesterday.
It just kept ringing.
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Why Would Bob the Mailman Want That
A couple of guys are at a bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”
“What?” says his buddy. “That fat ugly slob I see every morning outside your house?”
“That’s right,” says the first guy.
“Jesus,” says his buddy. “Why would Bob the mailman want to fuck that?”
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Still Assembling His Cabinet
Did you hear that the CEO of Ikea was just elected president of Sweden?
He is still assembling his cabinet.
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Talking Dog For Sale
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’ He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. “You talk?” he asks.
“Yep,” the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, “OK… so, what’s your story?”
The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running… But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.”
“I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
“Ten dollars,” the guy says.
“Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
“Because he’s a bullshitter. He’s never been out of the yard.”
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Insufficient Funds
Banks should do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled.
This is the fifth one I’ve been to that says Insufficient Funds.
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Almost Every Night
Two elderly men were bragging about their sex lives while playing pool at the senior center.
One says to the other, “Can you still have sex with your wife?”
The other responds, “I still have sex with my wife about once a week. How many nights do you have sex with your wife?”
The first man says, “Oh, we do it almost every night of the week.”
“Incredible,” the other man repeated. “Almost every night?”
“Yep,” he responded. “Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday…”
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Doctors Have Described His Condition as Stable
BREAKING NEWS: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors have described his condition as stable.
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Why Did You Make Her So Stupid
One day, God asked Adam how things were going with Eve…
Adam: Pretty good, I guess.
God: You seem to be holding back. Do you have any questions?
Adam: Well, why did you make her so much more beautiful than me?
God: So you would enjoy looking at her.
Adam: And why did you make her skin so much softer than mine?
God: So you would enjoy touching her.
Adam: And why did you make her smell so much better than me?
God: So you would want to be around her all the time. You see, Adam, I made Eve just for you, to make you happy.
Adam: Then why did you make her so stupid?
God: Well, Adam, if I had made her any smarter, she never would have slept with a guy like you.
