If you possess super powers, I guess I can understand wearing a bright red, blue and yellow jumpsuit with a large “S” on it. But to wear a big red cape, too? That starts to look like you’re trying to rub it in.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I love fajitas.
I love fajitas. Unfortunately, they make me fajart.
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The great thing about convincing mimes to join Fight Club — besides totally beating
The great thing about convincing mimes to join Fight Club — besides totally beating their asses — is knowing they’ll never break rules 1 and 2.
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I would think that when God needs a break from the pressure of running the universe, He
I would think that when God needs a break from the pressure of running the universe, He takes a couple of Almightiagra tablets to temporarily relieve His omnipotence.
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I kept hanging flyers all over the campus, but no one ever came to our shows.
I kept hanging flyers all over the campus, but no one ever came to our shows. In hindsight, our band probably could have come up with a better name than Lost Dog.
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Considering its primary use in a vehicle, I think they should rename it “the most junk
Considering its primary use in a vehicle, I think they should rename it “the most junk not including gloves I can cram into the smallest possible area and still close the damn door” compartment.
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I try to not sweat the small stuff.
I try to not sweat the small stuff. My pores are so damn big it oozes out in unpleasantly large chunks.
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I was helping my 9-year-old daughter do research for her book report on horseback riding
I was helping my 9-year-old daughter do research for her book report on horseback riding for kids. So I Googled the following: “pony, ride, under age 18.” … and I swear that’s the truth, Your Honor.
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I used to enjoy taking afternoon vacations in my mind, but I eventually got lazy and the
I used to enjoy taking afternoon vacations in my mind, but I eventually got lazy and the service at my mental resort went downhill. So I stopped tipping, but now I suspect that I’ve begun spitting in my drinks to get even.
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And so I left Cape Canaveral wiser than I had arrived.
And so I left Cape Canaveral wiser than I had arrived. Maybe I hadn’t gotten Jeff Gordon’s autograph, but I had learned that NASA and NASCAR are not the same thing, and in the long run, that was probably more valuable.
