Why don’t blondes like to breastfeed their children?
Because it hurts when they boil their nipples.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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This Is Going to Be Loud
A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened?
The blonde said, “Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, so first I stuck the gun in my mouth, but thought, wait a minute, I just had all that bridge work done, and I don’t want to ruin it. So, I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought, wait a minute, I just got a nose job not too long ago, and I don’t want to ruin it! Then I pointed the gun at my heart, and thought, wait a minute, I just had these boobs done, and I don’t want to ruin them! So then I stuck the gun in my ear, and thought, wait a minute, this is going to be loud!”
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Put On Two Coats
It was a hot and humid July afternoon, when I decided to visit my girlfriend, Susie. Susie may be blonde and beautiful, but sometimes she is, shall we say, lacking in other areas.
Well Susie had decided her kitchen needed repainting, and instead of hiring a professional, decided to do it herself. I thought she might appreciate a break and brought over some cold beer and some sandwiches.
When I arrived, I found Susie working hard painting the kitchen walls. But instead of wearing old clothes, she was wearing her fur coat and her ski parka.
I asked her why she was dressed that way on such a hot day. She brought me the paint bucket and told me to read the instructions. I did.
It said… “For best results, put on two coats.”
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Thats a Microwave
A blonde walked into an appliance store and told the clerk that she liked to purchase the television set that sat on the counter. Very politely the clerk told her that the store didn’t service to blondes. She was just about to say something when she got an idea. She went home and dyed her hair black.
The very next day, she went to the store and told the same clerk she had talked to the day before, that she would like to purchase the television set that sat on the counter. Then politely the clerk told her that he already told her the day before that the store didn’t service to blondes.
She looked surprised and asked him, how did you know I was the blonde from yesterday?
How did I know, the clerk said, ’cause that’s a microwave.
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How Does a Blonde Hold Her Liquor
How does a blonde hold her liquor?
By the ears.
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Ive Got Windows
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman:
“I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen”.
The surprised salesman replies: “But madam, computers do not have curtains…”.
And the blonde said: “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
