Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Drive-Thru Speaker

    I told one of my HMO patients to go get a tonsillectomy, and now he’s mad because he thought I said “appendectomy” and got his appendix removed instead. I guess I should really look into getting my drive-thru speaker fixed.

  • Brother After Brother, Vodka After Vodka

    A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman “Give me six double vodkas.”

    The barman says “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.”

    “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”

    The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”

    On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”

    The man downed the first drink and shook his head, “Yeah, my wife!”

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  • Fireman’s Home Alarm System Gets Misused

    A fireman was talking to his wife and told her “We have this really good system down at the station. One bell means that we all grab our gear, two bells means that we all slide down the pole, and three bells means that we all board the fire engine and leave. So that’s what we’re going to do around here. When I say one bell, I want you to take off all of your clothes. When I say two bells, I want you to get in the bed. When I say three bells, we start screwing.”

    Later on that night, the fireman said one bell, and his wife began to disrobe.

    Then, he said two bells, and his wife jumped into the bed.

    Then, he said three bells, and they began to screw.

    After a couple of minutes, his wife said “four bells.”

    The fireman said “What’s that mean?”

    She said “The fire is not out and I need more hose!”

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  • Wetting My Fingers to Turn the Pages

    There was this couple in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on and read a book. As he was reading he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling with her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.

    The wife then got up and started stripping off in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, “What are you doing taking all your gear off?”

    The wife replied, “You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier.”

    The husband said, “No, not at all.”

    The wife then asked, “Well, what were you doing then?”

    “Oh,” he said, “I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book!”

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  • The Condom Flew Across the Room

    Why did the condom fly across the room?

    Because it got really pissed off.

  • Deluxe Magic Hat

    My wife thinks that TV is a big waste of time, but I just learned something that’s sure to change her mind: When buying a magic hat for the kid’s snowman, spring for the deluxe version that keeps the snowman from melting when the temperature goes above freezing.

  • A Dildo in the Dark

    A woman has been married to her husband for ten years, and for all those ten years her husband insisted on making love in the dark. No matter how much she asked him, he would never turn the lights on.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    One night she grew tired of this and turned on the light while they were making love and saw that he was using a dildo on her.

    She says: “Honey, how could you do this! All this time you’ve never told me. Explain yourself immediately!!”

    The husband says: “OK, I’ll explain, but first you have to explain the kids.”

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  • Two Blondes Walk Into a Bar

    A young man walks into a bar and notices two lovely young blond women sitting down. He approaches the bar tender and asks: “Excuse me could I’d like to buy those two ladies a couple of drinks.”

    But the bar tender gives him a funny look and answers, “I’m not so sure that is a good idea. You see they’re lesbians.”

    “Sorry Mr. Bartender, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

    And the bartender responded, “Why don’t you go over there and ask them?”

    So the young man walked over to the women and asked, “I hear you are lesbians, what does that mean?”

    And one answered politely, “We’ll we like to kiss, suck each others tits….”

    And the young man yells to the bar tender, “Hey get us three drinks here for us lesbians!”

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  • She Farted and Flew Out the Window

    Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a whore house. When they arrived at the house, the Madame took one look at them and decided she wasn’t going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used “blowup” dolls instead.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    She put the dolls in each man’s room and left them to their business. After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking.

    The first man said, “I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or groaned… how was it for you?”

    The second man replied, “I think mine was a witch.”

    The first man asked, “How’s that?”

    “Well,” said the second man, “when I nibbled on her breast… she farted and flew out the window!”

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  • Duct Tape and a Gerbil

    Why do you have to wrap duct tape around a gerbil?

    So that it doesn’t explode when you sodomize it.