I grilled a chicken for two hours…
Still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road.
Short form comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
I grilled a chicken for two hours…
Still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road.
Decided to quit my job and travel the world until I run out of money!
I should be home in time for dinner.
English puns make me feel numb but math puns make me feel number.
I keep forgetting the difference between etymology and entomology…
…and words cannot describe how much this bugs me.
Frank walked into “Miller’s Ranch” out in rural Arizona, looking to buy himself a good, dependable horse.
Old Mr. Miller said, “I’ve got the perfect one for you, but he was trained a little different — to make him go, you shout ‘Praise the Lord!’ and to make him stop, you yell ‘Hallelujah!’”
Frank chuckled and said, “Well, I’ve been married 40 years — I can remember two words. Let’s take him for a spin.”
Frank was grinning ear to ear, flying down the dusty trail, wind in his hair, feeling 25 again.
Then he noticed they were heading straight toward a steep canyon.
“Whoa!” he hollered — but the horse just kept running.
“Stop!” he yelled — still nothing.
Panicking, he tried every word he could think of, but that canyon was getting closer by the second.
Just a few feet from the edge, it hit him.
“Hallelujah!” Frank screamed.
The horse slid to a perfect stop inches from the drop-off.
Frank wiped his brow, looked up at the sky, put his hand over his heart, and said softly…
“Praise the Lord.”
Doctor tells the patient, “You have an incurable disease and you don’t have that much time before you die.”
Patient asks, “How long before I die, doc?”
Doctor goes, “You have 5…”
Patient asking frantically, “5 what? 5 years? 5 months? 5 days?!”
Doctor, “4.”
My dad used to tell me that you can’t save anyone; they have to save themselves.
Great man. Terrible lifeguard.
If you came here expecting me to drop some awesome Star Wars puns today…
I’m afraid you’re looking in Alderaan places.