Format: short form

Short form comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

A lot of things changed

When my girlfriend got pregnant, a lot of things changed.
Like my name, my phone number, and my address.
Ex-Wife’s Comeback: Love Beyond Worn-Out!

A husband sees his ex-wife on the street. Knowing she remarried, he says, “Hey! How does your new husband like that worn-out old pussy of yours?”
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash Chaos

And she says, “He likes it just fine, once he gets past the worn-out part.”

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Now it’s a Ford Focus

I just dumped some Adderall in my Ford Fiesta’s gas tank…
Now it’s a Ford Focus.
Is the bar tender here?

A termite walks into a pub and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
You got a drink named Steve?

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

The bartender tells him, “You know, we have a drink named after you.”

The grasshopper answers, “You got a drink named Steve?”
We don’t want any kids

My wife and I have decided we don’t want any kids.

We’re going to tell them in the morning.
It definitely wouldn’t be this one

I saw a guy carrying a screaming toddler across the parking lot.

He noticed me looking at him and said, “He’s mine. I’m not stealing him or anything.”

Before I could reply, he added, “If I was gonna take one, it definitely wouldn’t be this asshole.”
Things started to go sideways

Everything was fine until the crabs arrived.

That’s when things started to go sideways.
Subway Revelation: A Lengthy Mistake!

Two things happened today.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash Chaos

First, I learned that my penis is not as long as a 6-inch sub from Subway.

Second, I was banned from my local Subway shortly after this revelation.

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The thesaurus throat

I swallowed a bunch of synonyms today.

I’ve got the thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.