marketing: lets create a fun and
exciting cereal
executive: okay, go on
marketing: it’ll have cool colors and
fruity flavors
executive: omg yes
marketing: and rabbits can fuck right
off if they think they can have some
Joke Type: absurdist
Absurdist jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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A Fun and Exciting Cereal
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Starfish Have Mouths in the Middle of Their Bodies
Starfish have mouths in
the middle of their bodies
Yeah so
what
Mermaids use
them as bras -
Goofy Has a Son
nervabeacon
Goofy is the only classic Disney character who has had sex.
Mickey has nephews, Donald has nephews, Goofy has a son.
And he wasn’t adopted, he looks just like him.
Goofy… has had sex.
Goofy… has known a woman biblically.
Imagine what it must’ve looked like.
Imagine what it sounded like.
These are the things I think about when I wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat.
GA-HYUK. -
Ted Meets the Missus
Ted asks his colleague, “So Larry, when are you gonna have me over to meet the missus?”
“Well,” says Larry, “she’s very shy, and doesn’t love socializing.”
“Ah come on Larry, it’ll be a quiet evening with just us three.”
“Hmm, OK let me talk to her.”
A few days later, Larry says, “OK I talked her into it, but you have to remember how hard this is for her. Promise me you won’t say anything that might upset her.”
Ted says sure, of course, so they agree on dinner Friday at seven.
Friday rolls around, and Larry meets Ted at his front door.
“Welcome, Ted! Come on in, and just remember: we’re making a real effort here, so let’s have a nice quiet calm evening.”
Ted agrees and walks through to the living room, where he stops dead in his tracks and shouts, “OH MY GOD LARRY YOUR WIFE IS A FUCKING TURTLE”
Larry says, “Ted, look what you’ve done! Do you have any idea what it took to get her out of her shell?”
