Dark humor jokes, grim punchlines, and comedy from the questionable end of the emotional buffet from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
Having recently lost my job, I have been volunteering my spare time up at the local child cancer ward and in doing so have become good friends with a young 10-year-old boy called Jimmy. I sit with him and hold his hand as he has his chemotherapy, take him to the movies when he is feeling well enough, and what little spare money I have, I spend on toys for him.
Today he asked me, “Will you still come to visit me when I leave the hospital?”
“Not a chance,” I replied. “I fucking hate cemeteries.”
A guy was walking to a bar, and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex.
He gets to the bar. Friends ask why he’s so late. He tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in.
Friends give him props and ask if he got head. The guy replies, “I couldn’t find it.”
A woman is at the top of a cliff working up the nerve to jump to her death when a smelly homeless person walks up and says, “Hey lady, if you are going to jump, why don’t we have sex first?”
She yells, “No! Get away from me!”
So the homeless guy says, “Fine! I’ll just wait at the bottom.”
I was blessed with a 9-inch penis.
That priest is in jail now.
Say what you will of the Nazis, but they did manage to do a lot of scientific research without harming any animals.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
MY FAVORITE SEX POSITION IS THE JFK
I SPLATTER ALL OVER HER WHILE SHE SCREAMS AND TRYS TO GET OUT OF THE CAR
Holocaust survivor dies during trip to Auschwitz
6,000,001
Doctor – On a scale of 1-8 how old are you?
Kid – It stops at 8?
Doctor – It does for you
