This could be us but we’re not douchebags.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Marriage Not as Good as Predator, Say Men
Marriage not as good as ‘Predator’, say men
MARRYING a woman who shares your hopes and dreams is still nowhere near as good as Predator, according to a new survey.
A poll of husbands for Bride magazine found that 80% rated the Schwarzenegger epic had higher levels of excitement and intellectual stimulation than a lifetime commitment to some woman.
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Not Even a Global Pandemic Wants You
When you haven’t caught COVID and you realize not even a global pandemic wants you.
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I Got In Touch With My Inner Self Today
I GOT IN TOUCH WITH MY INNER SELF TODAY
THAT’S THE LAST TIME I’LL BUY 1 PLY TOILET PAPER AT THE DOLLAR STORE
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Every Triangle Is a Love Triangle
Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.
— Pythagoras
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Can You Guys Peel the Cucumbers, Please?
French Fries
Greek Salad
Request: Can you guys peel the cucumbers, please? If not, no big deal, but my girlfriend acts like a fucking bitch about unpeeled cucumbers like it’s my fault.XL 18″ Cheese Pizza
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Tent Poles Are Not for Pole Dancing
TENT POLES ARE NOT FOR POLE DANCING.
PLEASE FIND ALTERNATIVE WAYS TO DISAPPOINT YOUR FATHER.




