being kissed in your sleep is.. like.. the purest form of love
Unless you are home alone
Or in prison.
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

*lays in bed for some 20 odd years*
*Grandson gets Golden ticket in candy bar*
Grandpa Joe:

When you realise everyone in the Marvel Universe speaks English, which means that Britain must’ve colonised the entire universe
*Laughs in British*

Fuck it, one shot of tequila won’t hurt
3 hours later:
Man Kicked Out Of McDonalds For Putting His D*ck In A Burger And Yelling THIS IS REAL MEAT, YOU F*CKERS!

When you get up after spending forty-five minutes on the toilet looking at memes