Donate a kidney and you’re a hero.
Donate three and it’s nothing but questions.
Joke Type: one-liner
One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Respectful Farewell or Evidence Elimination?
So when they burn a body at the crematorium, it’s “a respectful farewell to the departed.”
But when I do it, it’s “destroying evidence.”
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Faked my age
A 60-year-old millionaire marries a hot 25-year-old woman.
After the honeymoon, they throw a party to celebrate their marriage. After a few drinks, the millionaire’s friends want to know the secret of how he landed a 25-year-old hottie.
“It’s simple,” the millionaire boasts. “I faked my age.”
“Yeah, but even for a 40- or 45-year-old guy, she’s sensational. So what age did you tell her you were?” a friend asks.
With a smile on his lips, the millionaire responds, “85 years old.”
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Too Many Samples: A Sperm Bank Tale
I got fired because my boss said I was handing out too many free samples.
That’s the last time I get a job at a sperm bank.
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Blonde in a library
A blonde walked into a library, marched up to the counter, and said, “I’d like a Big Mac combo meal with large fries and a Diet Coke.”
The librarian said, “Excuse me! This is a library!”
The blonde then whispered, “Sorry… I’d like a Big Mac combo meal with large fries and a Diet Coke.”
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Polish Sausage
I walked up to the counter and said, “Yeah, I’ll take a Polish sausage.”
The guy behind the counter squints at me and asks, “Are you Polish?”
I’m immediately offended.
“What kind of question is that? If I ordered a bratwurst, would you assume I’m German? If I asked for a Belgian waffle, would that make me Belgian? Dumplings — Chinese? What exactly made you think I was Polish?”
He leans in, lowers his voice, and says,
“Sir… this is a hardware store.”
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Unseen Love: Stevie Wonder’s Untold Fatherhood
Stevie Wonder has kids he’s never seen.
