Joke Type: pun

Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Anal Fetish Scam

    The Australian police have been unable to recommend prosecution for a clever scam involving a fake pornographic video company. The company places newspaper advertisements offering imported hard-core pornographic videos at reasonable prices, encouraging people to place orders and make payments via check.

    After several weeks, the company sends a letter explaining that due to current laws, they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. They return their customers’ money in the form of a company check.

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  • The Condom Flew Across the Room

    Why did the condom fly across the room?

    Because it got really pissed off.

  • Energizer Bunny Dies From Backwards Battery Mishap

    I’m saddened to announce the passing of The Energizer Bunny.

    AP August 22, 1996 – The Energizer Bunny, known best for “going and going and going…” passed away last evening at 12:42am. Upon completion of the autopsy early this morning, the chief medical examiner ruled that the death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, induced by sexual over-stimulation. Apparently, someone put the battery in backwards and the bunny kept coming and coming and coming…

    Foul play has not been ruled out.

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  • Arrest a Mime

    If I were a cop, I’d look for an excuse to arrest a mime just so I could tell them they had the right to remain silent.

  • Miced Onions

    It’s a good idea to pay close attention to the recipe when you cook. That way you won’t spend a whole day looking for miced onions.

  • The Cola Wars

    Call me embittered, but I lost a mother and two brothers to the Cola Wars, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose my pop!

  • Molotov Was a Beer Drinker

    I’ve got ten dollars that says Molotov was a beer drinker.

  • Neither Repeating Nor Terminating

    My math teacher calls the 14th of March “Pi Day” because it’s 3/14. I celebrated by neither repeating nor terminating for the whole day.

  • Sweet Carol Line

    Sweet Carol Line

    My name’s Carol.

    Really? Me too!

    I’m also Carol.

    Me too!

    Hi, I’m Carol.

    Sweet Carol line.