Joke Type: pun

Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • The Penfish Is Even Mightier

    The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from…

    …except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.

  • I’m Finally a Groan Man

    I just turned 40 and I groan every time I get up now.

    I’m finally a groan man.

  • It Folded

    After I invested all my spare cash into an origami business, it folded.

  • So Full of Himself

    Did you hear about the arrogant cannibal who started eating his own arms and legs?

    He was so full of himself.

  • The Elevator Operator

    I took an elevator up to the 69th floor for a meeting and as I was getting out, the operator said, “Have a good day, son.” I grumbled, “Don’t call me son. You’re not my dad.”

    He scratched his head. “No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”

    After my meeting, I got back on the elevator to go back down and the same operator was there.

    I didn’t say anything to him, but when we got to the ground floor, he said to me, “I’m sorry.”

    “Because you thought you were my dad?” I asked him.

    He shook his head. “No, son, because I let you down.”

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  • At the Finnish Line

    Where did the Helsinki marathon end?

    At the Finnish line.

  • Right Up There

    Not sure if a colonoscopy is the most painful medical procedure but it’s right up there!

  • A Big Step Forward

    My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.

    That would be a big step forward.

  • Sails Are Going Through the Roof

    I started a business making yachts in the attic.

    Sails are going through the roof.

  • I Learned Next to Nothing

    I was so bored that I memorized six pages of the dictionary, and I learned next to nothing.