Pun Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

He Wanted to Maintain His Rank

My father was an officer in the Army but he never showered.

He wanted to maintain his rank.

To Scale or To Look At

My dad just finished making a model of Mount Everest.

I asked him if it was to scale… He said, “No, it’s to look at.”

Jokes About Retired People

I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work.

Jose at the Ballgame

A young Mexican man named Jose was curious about America so he snuck across the border.

He wanted to go see a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience:

“What happened?” asked his family.

“Well, America is the nicest place in the world!!” he said. “Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the players stood up, looked at me and said, ‘Jose, can you see?’”