Two men are sitting next to each other on a train, both sporting black eyes. Naturally curious, the first man looks at the other and says, “So, how’d you get the black eye?”
The other man replies, “Well, it was a Freudian slip.”
“What’s that?” the first asks.
“It’s when you mean to say one thing, but you accidentally say another that reveals what you’re really thinking,” explains the second.
The first man nods. “Oh. So what happened?”
“Well,” says the second, “I was buying my ticket for the train, and the woman at the counter had the biggest boobs I’d ever seen. So when I meant to say ‘two tickets to Pittsburgh,’ I accidentally said ‘two pickets to Tittsburgh’—hence the black eye.”
The first guy laughs and says, “That’s funny, something similar happened to me. This morning, I was eating breakfast with my wife, and I meant to say ‘could you pass the jam,’ but I accidentally said, ‘you ruined my life, you stupid bitch!’”
Joke Type: pun
Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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How’d you get the black eye?
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Sikh Sense: Intuition at Its Best!
What do you call someone in India with great intuition?
Sikh sense. -
Secrets Whispered: Conspiracy Theories Await!
I went to the library and asked the librarian where I could find books about conspiracy theories. She leaned over and whispered:
“They are right behind you.” -
Struggling in Silence: Identity and Acceptance
I didn’t want to admit I was gay and dyslexic.
I was in Daniel. -
How is he?
“Doctor, how is he?”
“Well, he’s had a massive heart attack, and also sustained some bone fractures.”
“Can I talk to him?”
“No, unfortunately, that’s not possible right now. But if you want to tell him anything, I can pass it along.”
“Could you ask him if I passed my driving test?”
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Unremovable Bra: The Ultimate Booby Trap!
What do you call a bra that you can’t take off?
A booby trap.
