Horse walks into a bar.
Bartender: Hey.
Horse: Sure.
Joke Type: wordplay
Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Muggy Out Today Sips Coffee From Bowl
ME: honey, it’s really muggy out today
WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m leaving u
ME: *sips coffee from bowl* -
Muslim Band And Mexican Mall
TRUMP: Let’s get that Muslim Band going
“Band? We thought you said ban”
TRUMP: No way, that’s harsh. Also, how’s that Mexican mall coming?
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All of the Letters I Had Hidden
My wife accused me of cheating after she found all of the letters I had hidden.
Now she refuses to play Scrabble with me.
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The Clean-Shaven Man and the Beard
A facially clean-shaven man asks his wife to try something naughty in the bedroom.
The horny couple dash upstairs…
“Get undressed and do a headstand by the full-length mirror.”
His wife excitedly complies…
The man rests his chin between her legs and starts umming and arring…
“What are you doing???” she asks, still excited….
“Well, I wanted to see what I looked like with a beard!”
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Spell Way
A husband got home early from work. He grabbed a beer from the fridge, sat in his favorite recliner and put the TV on a game!
His wife got home late from work! She immediately started dinner, the laundry and vacuuming!
As she walked by, her husband grabbed her hand and asked, “What are the chances of me getting laid tonight?”
She said, “Spell way!”
He replied, “W-A-Y!”
She said, “You forgot the F.”
He said, “There is no F in way!”
His wife replied, “Exactly!”
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Little Johnny and the Substitute Teacher
Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.
She says, “Hello class. I’m Miss Prussy. When you say my name, remember it has an ‘R’ after the first letter.”
The entire class says, “Hello, Miss Prussy!”
A few days later, Johnny’s regular teacher is out again, and Miss Prussy has returned as the substitute.
She says, “Good morning, Johnny. Do you remember my name?”
Johnny thinks hard, and he says to the teacher, “I remember it has an ‘R’ after the first letter.”
“That’s right!” she coaxed.
After a few seconds, little Johnny says, “Miss Crunt?”
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He Was 0K
A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C, and everyone said he was crazy.
It turns out that he was 0K.
