HI, MY NAME IS SIRIUS
BUT I WANT TO BE SIRIUS
SHIRLEY YOU CANT BE SIRIUS
Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

Him: I try to talk and she just mumbles and throws up gang signs
Her: *signals* I’m deaf

When your girlfriend invites you over to “eat her pussy” but then she starts stripping her clothes off instead of cooking her cat
*cries in ching chong*

Me: omg I’m so tired from all that crossfit this morning
Friend: it’s pronounced croissant… and I’m not sure how you managed to eat 12

Boss: How good are you at Power Point?
Me: I Excel at it
Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Me: Word