Wordplay Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Childless Men Can’t Tell Dad Jokes

Why can’t childless men tell dad jokes?

They aren’t kidding.

First Cell Mitosis

The first cell that underwent mitosis must have been like

Gas Prices Furious

WHEN GAS PRICES GET SO HIGH THAT YOU CAN ONLY AFFORD TO BE FURIOUS

Alakazam Let Me Slam

Me: wanna fuck? 👀

Her: Why do u have to say it like that? Its supposed to be a magical moment

Me: Alakazam let me slam

Short Notice

My son’s doctor called in a panic and exclaimed, “You need to get to my office immediately! I have dire news.” Very worried, I rushed over to find out what was so critical.

When I arrived, he explained, “After a careful review of your son’s charts, I believe that he won’t grow past five feet tall. I’m very sorry to have to deliver this bad news.”

I ask, “OK, but why was this such an emergency? Couldn’t this meeting have waited a few days?”

He answered, “I thought you want to know now, although I’m sorry about the short notice.”